The first time I ever saw Caden Harper I’m pretty sure I fell in love.
All that golden hair and pale blue eyes. He was mysterious and covered in paint. I found it endearing and wanted nothing more than to find out all his secrets. I gave that man things I would never give anyone else. He blew it though. Which I shouldn’t be surprised considering he is a womanizer.
So I moved on, well kind of. Jaden Harper wasn’t what I expected. I found myself drawn to him all most as much as his brother. Maybe it’s the fact they are twins or maybe it was the fact I wanted to live on the wrong side for once in my life.
Now I’ve found myself dug deep in this game. Theres no end in sight and I wonder when all the lies I have told will come back to haunt me.
Neither man should know the things I’ve gone through. Neither should trust me. I’m not who I say I am. My past is full of things I won’t ever share.
But where will that lead me when Caden wants nothing more than to consume me? He won’t wake up to see he has the wrong kind of love.
“I don’t know why I let Teagan talk me into coming to this club/bar/whatever. I hate crowds and being surrounded by a lot of sweaty people. I fight way through them looking for her and Declan on the dance floor.
Until this song came on.
You ever had that happened to you? One second you’re minding your own business and a song comes on and changes your life. It says whatever you’re thinking and feeling even if you didnt know thats what you were feeling.
My hips start to sway to the beat of the music. My hands go straight up in the air. My head rocking, my hair going everywhere.
“Cause you are the piece of me, I wish I didn’t need Chasing relentlessly, still fight and I don’t know why…” comes Clarity by Zedd over this places speaker system.
I feel him with me. His body pressed to me, his arms around my hips. His lips whispering things in my ear, naughty dirty things. Things only Caden would say to me.
“If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy? If our love’s insanity, why are you my clarity?…” Who ever wrote this song gets it. They get what I’m going through.
I’m lost in this sea of people, none of them I know. I still feel the ghost of Caden with me. Its how I know what I’m doing. What pain I’m causing him. What pain I’m causing myself.
I feel like I need him every time I’m no where near him. I wish I didn’t. I’m fighting him every time I see him. I don’t know why. Our entire relationship was doomed from the beginning yet it fixes me. We are insanity, the way we are together. We shouldn’t work but we do. And I see the clearest when he’s around.
I feel tears falling down my face as I continue to dance. I sing the lyrics at the top of my lungs. I don’t care who hears or sees. I need this right now.
And just like that I feel him.
I stop moving and look up. My face is damp and pulled tight. I don’t care who sees, I don’t care who knows. Its like I finally opened my eyes. I’ve wasted hours, days, months, years…
I run through the crowd to him. My Caden. I’m about a foot from touching distance, reaching for his hand when Jaden steps in front of me.”-Grace, Wrong Kind of Love
Amanda lives in southern Arkansas with her husband and young child. She enjoys reading, writing, and drinking tons of Dr. Pepper. You can find her sitting on the couch with either her head in a book or typing on her laptop.
Amanda is the author of This Beautiful Thing, Fire In Her Eyes, Angel Cuffs, and Norma Jean. Wrong Kind of Love will be released this June.